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Whisper oh Angels of Mercy
so utter Silence may leave it's wake
I know no one as seen me in a while -- so i offer to find you guys again and make friends.

ive come back lurking around GJ -- over at deliriumx_ -- add me back people! I miss talking to half of you
3 times .*. the choir of silent angels sing
Lise asked me to post this for her

She seems to think that there have been some lines of miscommunication that has been happening. She's not closing this journal she's just having the other one for her own personal use.

She's mad about the situation that has arisen and needs to step back from the net for a few days to clear her head and rearrange her thoughts. She'll be back but just after she clears her mind. She's got a bunch of thoughts going through her head she needs to sort out first.

She just wanted everyone to know that.

Carrie
1 .*. the choir of silent angels sing
Certain things have come to my attention ..... given from a VERY RELIABLE source... that my inner fears were indeed realized.

I've been played with, messed with, and torn apart inside. And quite frankly it hurts me more than anything I thought would.

Yes, I wish I was an angel, which in turn makes me wish that I could help others and be caring/trusting/loving..... all the "good" Traits everyone says that I have.

But these people who claim to "love me" -- then being in a chat room, laughing about how blind I was to someone revealing that the people who supposedly "love" me.... get me so easily to believe the truth, and then have an incredible laugh about it in a private Chat room...... when I wasn't present..... seriously hurts me more than anything that's ever done.

I tried to give nothing but love and affection to those people involved.

But in return -- I was given the knife that plunged it's way so deeply into my back that it's going to be very hard to pull this out, or be able to comprehend how I can forgive those who did this to me....

How can it be so easy to believe that certain people love me now when I find out information like this.....? I Just don't know anymore. I really don't.

Yes, it's minorly my own fault for being so naive.... and I admit to this freely.

But to know that those I held so dearly with love went behind my back to laugh at my misfortune..... hurts me a hell of a lot more.

If you wish to still keep in contact with me... if you weren't a part of the people who heartlessly made a mockery out of me.... send me an email. Otherwise... you can try and see if there's a way that I'll forgive you for what's happened.

Current Mood: betrayed

4 times .*. the choir of silent angels sing
3 times .*. the choir of silent angels sing